First off, let me say that I am sorry that all of these things (or, more accurately, any of those things) happened to you.
But, as I’ve said previously, you were never targeted for this abuse due to your race. You seem to view white privilege as a “get out of jail free card" that works in any and all situations.
Not so. Think of the issue of “saliency.” If you’re a white woman dealing with physically abusive and sexually violent white men, your white privilege wasn’t salient, that is, useful. However, white privilege was useful to you in other situations. You stated that you held a string of fast food jobs. Are you sure that you weren’t hired over POC with similar backgrounds? What about your housing situation? Can you honestly say that you lived in an integrated neighborhood? If the neighborhood wasn’t integrated, that was most likely intentional. And what about those ladies in the SUNY admissions office? Do you think they would have been so helpful to a BIPOC woman who experienced similar difficulties?
Also, you seem not to understand that no one is completely privileged and no one is completely disadvantaged. And sometimes the cumulative weight of disadvantages can mute any positive advantages that a privilege gives you.
Conversely, privileges can sand the rough edges off disadvantage(s). For example, I am black in a racist/white supremacist culture and a woman in a culture where misogyny and gender violence are normalized. However, I am also able-bodied, thin in a society that worships thinness, reasonably attractive in a society that worships physical beauty, and young-passing in a society that dismisses and ignores “older” women. I never graduated from college but I did attend for a while after graduating in the top 20% of my high school class. This is a privilege. I am also employed in a society that places an excessively high value on paid labor. And, while my family was dysfunctional, it wasn’t nearly as dysfunctional as yours; I have never been sexually assaulted or molested in a country where one out if six women and girls will be victimized. I hate to say it but that is also a privilege.
In short, I am privileged by many things. However, going back to the concept of “saliency,” these privileges don’t always work for me. If I cross paths with a racist cop intent on doing Derek Chauvin one better, all the privileges I previously described won’t save me. If I am interacting with misogynistic black men, those privileges will not save me. They may even be weaponized against me. Yes, I am thin and young-looking but if a prospective employer doesn’t like the look of “natural” African texture hair, I can forget about getting a job. In fact, research has consistently shown, with my “black sounding” first name, that I am less likely to be interviewed in the first place. Ditto if I am seeking mental health services.
Not trying to discount your (heartbreaking) life experiences here. Just telling you that none of this happened because your white.
